Waiting

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As of today, it has been 572 days since we began the adoption process; 298 days since we were matched with the three boys; 145 days since we received the official referral; and 97 LONG days of waiting on Ministry approval. And we’re still waiting...

Waiting is hard, and this particular wait is harder than we imagined. Someone once asked me if it was like being pregnant, and I can honestly say no, it’s nothing like that. With pregnancy, you feel the tiny kicks, you see baby on the sonograms, and you know, after approximately 9 months, you’ll have a baby in your arms. In adoption there are so many unknowns. There’s no one we can call to speed up the process, because we’re at the mercy of a foreign government. This government has the authority to deny approval if they choose to.

With each day that passes we realize it’s one more day our boys live without a family and one less day we get to spend with them and influence them with the Gospel. We have no idea what they’re doing or how they’re doing. We can’t contact them or assure them we’re coming for them. Our boys are living 4,945 miles away from us and it hurts.

C.S. Lewis said, “I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait” and one of our pastors recently said “if you’re still waiting on something to arrive or happen, it’s because you aren’t ready for it yet.” We know God’s timing is best, and we know He is preparing us for our future in the wait, but to be honest, it doesn’t make it any easier.

We’ve been trying to keep ourselves busy with various projects around the house, because when we’re busy, we don’t obsess over when we’ll hear some news. Ron built closets for the bunk room, did work in Lily’s room, made plans for Eli and Isaiah’s room, built a shoe cubby for the coat closet, and I’ve been cleaning out and organizing like a crazy woman. The kids have been such great helpers with it all, but even they are getting anxious.

At the beginning of the adoption process God gave me this verse from 2 Chronicles 20:17 “You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf...Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed (anxious, disheartened, discouraged). Tomorrow go out against them and the LORD will be with you.” This verse has been such an encouragement throughout this long process, and we’ve definitely seen God fight on our behalf, but sometimes it’s hard to see Him at work. Human nature tells us if there’s no visible movement then God has given up and left us to fend for ourselves. That’s the point we’re at right now. We’re fighting against the enemy who wants us to pick it up and handle the situation ourselves because God is obviously done with it all. With each passing day that holds no word on where we’ll receive the remaining funds or any word from Poland, it’s hard to keep from being discouraged or anxious and it gets harder to believe that God’s still at work. I’m reminded of the man who said to Jesus, “I believe, help my unbelief!”

I’m so thankful, though, that we serve a loving Father who is big enough to handle our frailties. He’s not afraid to hear that we’re tired of waiting or that we think He’s given up. He’s right here every moment of every day, gently guiding us along. He’s already laid out every step of our journey from beginning to end and He’s always there, just ahead of us, preparing the way.

I definitely don’t want this to be a post to discourage anyone from pursuing adoption. Our family wholeheartedly believes that Christians are called to care for the fatherless and there are so many scriptures to back that up. We will continue to advocate for this cause even after our boys come home. If God is calling you to do something, DO IT. Don’t let fear hold you back. He’s bigger than anything that comes your way and He promises to never leave or forsake you. I’m preaching to myself here.

We ask that you all would continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray we would keep our eyes on Him and not on the situations that arise around us to divert our attention. Pray for peace in our home and on our family. Pray for God to watch over our three boys in Poland and for Him to help them wait well. Most of all, pray for God to get all of the glory and for others to see what He can accomplish when given the opportunity. This is not about what Ron and Alison can do, but what HE can do through His children to bring hope to a hurting world.